Posted by
RANT BRAZEN on Tuesday, March 03, 2009 11:02:35 PM
I think I’d like to become an anonymous source. These guys are quoted all the time, you know? But they never get into trouble for running their mouths. They got it made.
I'm not sure how you get hired to be an anonymous source, but it sounds like a good racket. It’s not really clear what kind of training you need. It's not obvious if it makes any difference where you're from, or how much education is needed. Or if gender, race, percentage of body fat, political affiliation, prison record, religion, sexual preference or your opinion of grits are considered. I know one thing. When it comes to being an anonymous source, I'm already halfway there. I'm about as anonymous as you can be. My guess is that might be the easiest part.
The other part – the source thing -- is what baffles me. There were lots of anonymous sources during the years when President Bush My Man was in office. These secret gossip and scandal purveyors were everywhere. The competition to get into the business and prosper must have been really squishing. You couldn't tell if they were men or women, black or white, non-Asian or non-entity, if they had foot fetishes or smoked bongs or smoked salmon, or if they were from Winona, Minnesota. But my guess is that most of them were liberal Democrats, or wanted to be, because they were constantly getting quoted for saying mean, hateful, hurtful things about President Bush My Man.
Being anonymous, you have to wonder how the news people -- who often masquerade as reporters at scandal sheets like the Washington Post, ABC News, or maybe Pravda, ever got to know who the anonymous sources actually were. They couldn’t just walk up to somebody famous and feared like Katie Couric, Deep Throat, Bluff Witzler or maybe even Roseo Donnell, introduce themselves as anonymous sources, and start talking. How would anyone in that circumstance know that you were a bona fide anonymous source? It’s like a friend of mine who told me, “I never met a stranger. I just prefer to hang with people I already know.” Later I found out this dude wasn’t a friend of mine at all, but the quote is still pretty good. And if I don’t tell you who he was, he’s just an anonymous source. But let’s get serious.
Being an anonymous source is actually a pretty scurrilous way to make a living. You can snipe at the Republican, Christian or conservative opposition under the cover of stupidity or liberality, whichever comes first, and not have to identify yourself or footnote your garbage. Pretty good racket.
President Obama doesn’t usually quote anonymous sources. He just seems to know who they are. His Chief of Staff and right hand pit bull Rham Emanuel apparently thinks Rush Limbaugh is an anonymous source. This can’t be true because Rush already has a full-time job as GOP godfather and antagonist to most liberals and back-up quarterback Michael Steele – he of the marvelous smile and spunky competitive spirit.
Anyway, forget Rush as being an anonymous source, because if there’s anyone who won’t brook no anonymity, it’s Mr. Limbaugh. Also, Rush has been quoted as saying something like he sure hopes Barocco Bomber doesn’t do real good at ruining the United States. That’s okay. If Rush hadn’t said it, I know a lot of people who would. I’m one or more of them.
I’ve wasted most of my allotted space here, as I usually do, so I must race to say some things which may actually be worthwhile before the Townhall.com bouncers throw me out. So, in just a few words, here are some key thoughts I’d like to leave with you:
1. I think President Obama is on track to ruin America and I hope he fails.
2. I think Rush Limbaugh hopes Obama fails, and I agree with Rush.
3. I did not vote for Mr. Obama, and, if I ever have another opportunity, I won’t again.
4. I like John McCain and his wife Cindy, plus Sarah Palin and her husband Mr. Sarah.
5. Also, Mike Huckabee, Sean Hannity, and Duke roundball coach Mike Krzyzewski.
6. And Michael Steele.
7. And any anonymous source that tells the true truth about how Baracco Bomber will probably surpass Herbert Hoover at making America go bust.
Good night from the frigid beaches close by Wilmington, NC, where the Azalea Festival is coming up right soon. Please write down that date and be here.